My first handstand!

It just says click. 

I have tried getting up to handstands before at yoga. Several times. But the mere thought of it has always terrified me. Inversions (as exercises where your head and heart are lower than your legs are called in yoga) just seemed so scary. And especially handstands. What if I would land on my head? Or topple over in the wrong direction? In theory, both are possible if one goes up into a handstand with too much speed. 

In practice, most students do not get their legs even close to straight up and do for sure not risk going over. And this is where you would have found me until now. Trying to lift my legs up and getting perhaps half way, before dropping down again. 

Scary, scary, scary. 

But not today. Today I actually made it completely upside down! Of course with a little bit of support, especially moral such, from the yoga teacher whose presence and reassuring 'hold' made me overcome my fear. But the real work was all me. Both in getting up there and in staying all straight upside down - with strong feet, strong hands and a strong core. And it felt like I could have stayed like that for hours (or rather perhaps minutes). The only reason I went back down again was to allow the teacher to help others. But I didn't even feel tired. Instead the experience made me feel energised and happy and strong and full of confidence. 

A great experience which I am so happy to have made as it allowed me to remember that anything is possible as long as I set my mind to it, that I try over and over again until it works, that I build my knowledge and strength, and that I overcome my fears of failing, and falling. And of course, that I have a supporting hand from a person that I trust. 

Anything is possible. I can do anything that I set my mind to. I am strong. I am great. I am a person who just made my first handstand and got praise from my wonderful yoga teacher twice after for its perfect composition. 

I can!

The perfect end after a not to great of a day job wise. My goal for today's yoga practice was to feel stronger. And that was more than achieved as this experience made me feel stronger both physically and mentally. 

And it was the perfect final class with the world's best yoga teacher before she leaves to work in Myanmar for six months. I really hope that she comes back and takes up her classes again. But in the meantime, I will continue to do yoga even if I don't find as good a teacher, and I will continue to feel confident in myself. The perfect goodbye gift from the perfect teacher. I might even continue to try doing handstands. Because....

I can do anything!

Den här bloggposten innehåller nötkräm

Det pågår en tyst katastrof. En katastrof som varje dag dödar 21 000 barn under fem års ålder. De flesta barnen dör av näringsbrist, diarré eller andra sjukdomar. De dör av orsaker som med enkla medel skulle kunna förebyggas. Det som saknas är vaccin, medicin, rent vatten och näringsriktig mat. Saker som UNICEF kan leverera. Saker som vi tillsammans kan leverera.

Photo: UNICEF

Den här bloggposten är mitt sätt att bidra. För i och med att jag publicerar den här bloggposten blir inte bara fler uppmärksammade på den tysta katastrofen utan dessutom innebär det att re:member skänker sex påsar av den nötkräm som UNICEF använder vid behandling av undernärda barn. Tre påsar nötkräm om dagen är allt som krävs för att ett barn som lider av undernäring ska kunna överleva.

Har du också en blogg och vill göra något viktigt i jul? Hämta bloggmaterial här! Tillsammans räddar vi barns liv.

Ps. Vill du köpa fältprodukterna som räddar barns liv, besök UNICEFs gåvoshop. Du kan välja ett snyggt gåvobevis designat av bland annat Tove Styrke eller Elsa Billgren att ge bort i julklapp.

Sorry for the Swedish, but this was too important of an opportunity to help UNICEF help malnurished children for me to pass up on. 

Not like in the movies, but with hopes for a happy ending.

Things missing in my life right now:

• An apartment. We only have a few months left in the one we live in now, the one I love, the one I dream about a future in. Looking for another one feels rather depressing. 
• A job. Always thought I had quite a good CV, but realising more and more for every day that go by that my experience is worth nothing. That my interest on the work market is close to nil. 
• A cure for a specific disease that I would so want to be able to cure. 
• A best friend. The kind they always have in movies. The kind you can call up in the middle of the night, who's always there for you. The kind you want to share everything with, from joys to sadness, and with whom you would never hesitate to pick up the phone because you're worried do 'disturb them'. The kind where you can knock on the door unannounced and be welcomed with open arms. 
• A goal / orientation / bright future. Something to look forward to, something to plan for, something to live for...

There are other things of course, but these feel like the most important ones, the most sad/depressing/stressful ones. This last year my life was so much easier and the fall back to reality is still going on and hurting that much more than I had ever thought possible.

Not to say that it is all bad. I do have a lot of things to be happy for, such as:

• A love. The big love with a big L. Who is also my best friend and the only one who knows all that's going on in my life. A bit too much perhaps to shoulder for just one person though... 
• A great bunch of friends. Friends with whom to share a nice meal. Friends with whom to go to the gym. Friends with whom to party. Friends who jump on a plane to come and visit. Friends who cares in their way. Good friends, great friends even. 
• My health. Well, mostly at least. 
• An amazing year of travelling to remember, to warm me up, to put a smile on my face.

More good than bad perhaps. Just missing someone to talk to about the parts that are not so great right now. Someone who can take her/his time. Someone who doesn't get tired of my current down period but allows me to express my concerns, my worries, my feelings of belittlement. Someone who doesn't tell me off for not having done something as I stand under an ever higher reaching mountain of things 'to do'.

Oh well. I guess all is not like in the movies.

Free outside cinema by the lake in Geneva

From 15 July to 22 August, Cinétransat is back for another year of watching cool movies for free with the lake in the background, a glass of cold rosé in one hand, and some picnic food in the other.

Long live the summer!!!

Travel mantra

This is the mantra that I am going to try to live after during my 12 months of travelling the world:

"A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." Lao-Tzu

A bit like live life day by day... Let's see if I manage :D

Time to see a doctor?

Woke up at 2 am as I could not breath, spluttering and coughing until air finally made it to my lungs. Relief!

But hey, what happened? Now that air is flowing down my lungs why am I still coughing, and coughing, and coughing? My body contorting and folding in on itself. I raid my old medicine in search for something to calm the cough - but in vain. Despairing the only solution in the middle of night is a dafalgan - hoping it will tranquilise somewhat my body that seems stuck on repeat - and end up sleeping in the sofa half sitting up.

What a lovely night.

Love is blind and madness, well madness guides love

This is a beautiful old story that I found a couple of years ago and sent to a friend as I found it very suiting for both of us at that time. Well, she is now about to give birth in Zambia and is madly, but luckily not too blindly, in love - so perhaps today it suits us both even more than ever.

Long time ago, when only feelings and thoughts were living on Earth, but no human's minds to inhabit, they were really bored, because they had no one to play with.
So Enthusiasm proposed: "Lets play something altogether, ok? Come on!! Lets play something, lets play something, lets play something!!!"
And Reason demanded: "It might be a good idea, but what are we going to play at?"
And Enthusiasm answered: "Ea!! I have no idea, i have no......i have no.....how do you call it?"
"Imagination, you have no imagination at all. But i do. Why don't we play hide and seek?" - said Imagination.
"And how shall we play that?" - asked Reason.
"Easy, one of us seeks and tries to find all the rest of us, who hides everywhere." - explained Imagination.
So they asked Madness to be the seeker, and everybody hid where they pleased.
And Madness started to look for all of the rest of his companions and eventually he found them all, but one. He found Loneliness in the center of the largest desert, Shame at the very bottom of the deepest cave, Imagination behind a rainbow, Rage in a vulcano.....and so he continued until he found them all, but one. He couldn't find Love, neverminding how hard he tried. So he sat in a rock and started to think really hard and by chance Imagination touched him and suddenly he had an idea: "Love must be hidden inside the roses, it would be so her to hide inside the flowers."

He started to investigate the roses then, but the bushes were too thick and light didn't get in so he couldn't see a thing.
He thought of taking a long stick and starting to punch the roses' bushes with it to see if there was soembody hidden inside them, and immediately picked one from the land and did it.
All of a sudden he heard a long and painful scream: "My eyes, my eyes!!" - were the words of Love, coming out from the roses' bushes. She was holding her eyes with her two hands, and red blood was coming down her arms.
"What happened?" - asked Madness, with Anxiety and Fear by his side.
"You blinded me with your stick. I can not see" - said Love, with tears mixed with blood.
Madness came to his knees and begged for her forgiveness, knowing nothing he could do was going to restored her sight again.
And Love?
Love forgave him, of course, because Love forgives everything from anybody. After all, she can't do other thing, right? But the fact remained the same, she couldn't see anymore, she was blind.
Madness was so thankful for her forgiveness that made a solemn promise to her: "I swear that from today until the end of our existences i will be your guide" - were his words while taking carefully her arm.

And so it happened to be that from that ancient day on, Love is blind and Madness is her guide.